I Make Lists: 5 of My Mediocre Superpowers

I’ve never really had one talent at which I am supremely awesome. I was a passable soccer player, but I was never amazing. I’m a pretty decent artist, but not so good that I’d win any competitions. I can’t sing, can’t play an instrument and have not ever done a cartwheel that did not involve a faceplant.

That said, I have acquired a few rather mediocre superpowers that make me proud…

I can stomp around in 4-inch heels all night. I had a job for awhile that required full-time business dress and gave me an excuse to splurge on some high-powered heels. I’m 5′ 7″ barefoot, so in my 4-inch stilettos I’m all but 6-feet tall and I kind of love it. Also, every time I hear “Wow, how can you walk in those?!” (which is pretty often, actually) I secretly give myself a little pat on the back.

I can fix confusing internet things. What kind of internet things? Round up all the miscellaneous interweb tasks that the people you know can’t seem to do and that’s pretty much my skillset. Yes, I can figure out why your website is broken, your email won’t send, or you can’t locate that site you just had yesterday. I can tell you why your preferences are screwed up, your HTML or CSS isn’t doing what it should, and how to filter out just those stupid chainmails that your Grandma keeps sending without losing anything important. The downside to being good at these sort of things is that people are always asking you to do them.

I am the Finder of Lost Things. If you have misplaced your keys, your wallet, your favorite sweater or your baby (kidding! who does that?) I will track that shit down.

I’m an awesome Trivial Pursuit partner. While I specialize in geek trivia (go ahead, ask me anything about Battlestar Galactica) I’m kind of a sponge and I’m really good at remembering trivial tidbits of data. Chalk it up to years of watching Jeopardy with Grandma and obsessive internet reading. I am full of useless information.

I will move all of your furniture. Up a fire escape if necessary. Growing up, my family had a business and part of that business involved used furniture. I spent a lot of time lifting and carrying big stuff. Couple that with a decade of friends and family moving into and out of various houses and apartments and I’ve gotten pretty good at lifting sofas over my head. Once, while singlehandedly carrying The Thing That Requires Two People To Move up a narrow staircase, one of my girlfriends exclaimed completely seriously “YOU ARE THE STRONGEST PERSON I KNOW.” She was probably exaggerating, but I am pretty strong for such a tiny lady.

Those are mine. What are your mediocre superpowers?


  1. says

    Firstly, super jealous of that first trait. Secondly, those shoes are awesome! My superhero trait has to be making good meals out of seemingly nothing. I take an almost empty fridge and a sparse cuppard like a challenge :)

  2. says

    I always make the perfect cup of tea. I have a mental database of how all my friends and family like their tea, and I always make it to their specifications.

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